![]() ![]() "Sure you don't eat it in America but we kill horses by the droves and sell it to Canada", Tony reminds us. Our traveler dines on antipasti of fried broccoli and mushroom, veal, and spillachi - shaved horse meat with arugula. It's quintessential Roman cuisine without catering to the tastes of tourists. Tony then disses Samantha Brown and mocks romance, before heading to Betto and Mary, a non-touristy place, for dinner. If shopping is not your weakness, he suggests maybe dead people? Tony shops for his weakness - Italian sunglasses. If Tony Bourdain hates that f**king clock as much as I do, maybe that clock is ticking down its final minutes on earth. Stylish Woman: "We can always recognize if they're tourists. There's probably a slight language barrier because Bonci thinks that's maybe a request from the pazzo American and says, "tonight I will feed you pizza with pineapple and ham. Tony asks his new friend Bonci if he's ever seen that American shitty Hawaiian pizza with the ham and pineapple. ![]() Like everywhere else in the world, the coratella is a traditional peasant dish from the good old days when real meat was sent to the Vatican and the tripe, heart, tail, and offal was left the peasant. Tony's food tips, handily superimposed on the screen, are to order suppli (rice croquettes), polpette (meatballs), and coratella (lambs heart liver and lungs). Tony meets Gabriele Bonci, who owns a pizza shop near the Vatican for lunch at Sora Lella in a building that's over a thousand years old. His much needed travel tip? Bring your own double ply. Tony Bourdain: "Generally I'm picked up in a Lincoln Town Car and taken to wherever I want to go, but for the purposes of this show, I'll pretend to take public transportation."Īs Tony waits for his lunch date, he complains about how chapped his ass is from the abrasive toilet paper. Go touring around on foot and observe the smallest details." Old man: "I advise tourists to walk the narrow streets. This is just a late morning snack before lunch, by the way. ![]() The pride of Rome, porchetta is a whole deboned porker stuffed with herbs and served with beer. Tony shares that these guys are not f**king around with their pig. Tony goes for porchetta in the Pinetto district. Hey! The f**king clock is back and it's ticking 26:32 hours to go! Here's a typical Italian breakfast: There is no breakfast! Why the hell would you waste precious calories and stomach space on pop tarts and cereal when lunch is coming? To tide you over, drink cappuccino and have a cornetto, which is a croissant (but if you call it a croissant, you'll probably have lit cigarettes flicked at you). Tony Bourdain: "You could have that delicious hotel breakfast, but you're a f**king idiot if you do." Woman in blue dress: "Cappuccino is like a coffee that you only drink in the morning. It has all the charm of New York's Penn station, which means none at all." Tony Bourdain: "Termini station is the center of suckdom. Woman in a dress: "Whenever you have to take a bus or a metro, you have to go to Termini Station. Tony takes the train which unfortunately leaves you at Termini station. A $60 taxi, shuttle buses for about $15, and the express train $20 and 30 minutes. The usual cast of characters await your lousy trip into the city. Tony's just gotten into Rome, tired and bitching. Of those f**ked up tours five cities in ten days, there's no time to waste." You don't go to see stuff - you let it slip up on you. Tony Bourdain: " Ideally you visit Rome slowly. Two guys sitting on a bench: "The Romans have a famous walk. It's hard to keep a frantic pace up in Rome - after all, it's a city where a quick cup of espresso can take an hour and about 2,000 hand gestures. Episode three of The Layover and I'm slightly warming up to it, maybe because the cities are getting better. ![]()
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